Round 2

Round 2, 9:30 am, September 28, 2006: I had my blood drawn the day before treatment. The doctor says everything is good and ready for my second round of chemo. This time I was more prepared, I knew what to expect. It wasn't as scary this time, even though I didn't want to do it! It only took 3 hours, that's good, an hour less than last time. I was told it took about 3 hours, this is more like it.

I was hungry after treatment and a sub sandwich sounded good. I stopped by Safeway, why I don't know, I never go to Safeway. I must have gone there because it was on my way home or I just couldn't think where to buy a sub. I got a turkey sub with everything but tomatoes, I don't like tomatoes. I brought it home and for some reason it just did not taste good. I had olives on it, I like olives. But not today. After that sub I could hardly look at another olive, they grossed me out!

After eating, I began to feel that Mack truck feeling again. I was down again for another week and by the third week I was able to clean house and do the grocery shopping I needed to do before I had chemo again.

Look Good Feel Better

September 25, 2006, my best friend Robin Bissett and I go to Desert Samaritan Hospital to a class given by the American Cancer Society. It was a room filled with women with varying kinds of cancers. All of us bald and there for the same purpose, to "Look Good and Feel Better". It was comfortable being there and everyone "let their hair down" if you know what I mean.

They showed us a video and refreshments were provided. The ladies were wonderful explaining to us what chemotherapy and radiation does to the skin. It was very informative and fun at the same time. They taught us the importance of using mild soaps on our face and body. The importance of moisturizing our skin, especially since chemo dries out the skin. They taught us how to draw on our eyebrows. When you go through chemo you not only lose the hair on your head, but you lose your eyebrows and eyelashes, at least I did. They told us to use eyeliner to help our eyes not look so bland without eyelashes.

They gave us a gift bag with moisturizer, foundation make-up, blush and lipstick. They taught how to put on a scarf and different scarf creations. There were wigs there for us to choose from if we needed a wig.

Robin was in her element, because she's a licensed cosmetologist and she enjoyed helping everyone with their wigs and make-up. She was truly a friend in deed and I love her for helping me. Another thing Robin did for me is, she bought me a wig. We had a great time trying on different wigs. It was a fun day! So, now I have three wigs and I jokingly call them, "Me, Myself, and I".

I highly recommend the "Look Good Feel Better" program to anyone who is going through cancer treatment. As I stated earlier, it is with the American Cancer Society. I know they have classes all over the United States. Be sure to Google it to locate one in or near your area. You will be glad you did. Make sure you bring a friend. You will have fun and it will bring you closer together!

Chemo Begins

September 1, 2006, I met with Dr Bachrach. He went over my MUGA Scan and my blood work. The results of the scan and blood work were normal and this meant the chemotherapy regime would begin.

Round 1: Wednesday, September 5, 2006, I arrive at 1:30 pm. Of course I'm nervous, wouldn't you be? I've only known people that went through cancer treatment, I don't know what it's like personally. Well, today I'm going to find out!

The room is sterile and the nurses are friendly. I'm nervous and my heart is in my throat. I feel like I'm going to be sick and I haven't had any drugs yet! I'm working myself up and I begin to feel it go out of control. The nurse comes over to me with all the chemo bags. She proceeds and the only thing I can think of to do is close my eyes and breathe. I try my best to relax to keep myself calm and it begins to work. Once she begins, I feel calm and peaceful. I feel like everything is going to be okay. The treatment took about 4 hours. When I arrived home, I began to feel tired. Within an hour of getting home I felt like a Mack truck hit me. That was it, I was down. I could barely move. Dr Bachrach was right and then the next week I could do a little more.

After about 10 days, my hair begins to fall out. Not much, but I can tell. I refused to let the loss of my hair get the best of me. So I had a surprise for my Dad. I went to see Dad and we went out to lunch. After lunch, I told Dad that we needed to cut his hair. We took the chair into the carport, he sat down and I proceeded to cut his hair. When I was finished I said, "Okay Dad, it's my turn. You get to cut my hair!" He said, "What? Are you sure?" "Yeah Dad, I'm sure", I said. So we traded places and I was in the barber chair. He proceeded with a reverse Mohawk, and continued until every last strand of hair on my head was gone. I was in control, not cancer or chemotherapy, it was my choice when I lost my hair!

Thursday, September 15, 2006, even though I'm going through the chemo process, I still have to have mammograms. So today at 1:00 pm I had my mammogram, nothing abnormal, everything is good.

Doctors and Tests

Now comes the time when I'll be seeing doctors that I thought I'd NEVER see. Radiation Oncologist, Medical Oncologist, and Plastic Surgeon. This isn't something that I ever thought I'd be doing in a million years, but I am!

June 29, 2006, is my first appointment with Dr Richmond, Radiation Oncologist. He was very nice and informative. The only thing I didn't like was that if I had radiation, my chances of breast reconstruction were decreased. At that time I was bound and determined not to do radiation, if at all possible.

July 5, 2006 I had a PET Scan. I had no idea what a PET Scan was. I was injected with a glucose dye. After being injected I had to wait about a hour to make sure the dye was throughout my system. It was my turn and I was escorted to a mobile PET Scan trailer at Banner Baywood Medical Center. I was told to remove any clothing that had any metal on it and put on a gown. I enter another part of the trailer and I see this big machine, that is similar to a CT Scan machine and was told to lay down on the table. I had two options, have my arms strapped down by my side or have them above my head. There was no way I was going to be strapped down. I can get claustrophobic and being strapped down would have made me feel more confined than I already was. I closed my eyes throughout the test to keep me calm and from getting that anxious feeling. The test took about 45 minutes to an hour, which is a long time when you don't like confined spaces. The purpose of the test is to show where the cancer is located and if it has metastasized. The results of my PET Scan showed the cancer in only one spot, in my left breast. This is good news!

July 14, 2006 I went to Banner Baywood for Outpatient Pre-Op. Getting ready for my lumpectomy.

I knew that soon after my surgery, chemotherapy would be here and the thought of going bald was on my mind. I know that cancer is a scary thing, I know that for a fact. I've watched how my family has been affected by cancer and now I'm going through it myself. Sometimes it's difficult for some people to talk, let alone look at someone with cancer. They don't know what to say or what to do and it puts up walls between people. Well, I didn't want that to happen to me. I want people to ask how I am, I want them to have "normal" conversations with me. I don't want them shying away from me because I was diagnosed with cancer.

So, on Sunday, July 16, 2006, I decided to do something to involve the Sisters in my Ward in one of my major decisions. I had a survey made with different pictures of wigs for the Sisters in Relief Society to choose for me. Boy, did that break the ice. They loved it, and I loved it too! They became a part of my cancer experience and I love each of them for supporting me.

July 18,2006, my dear friend Nancy Garrett and I had pedicures. She treated me knowing in two days I was having my lumpectomy and beginning my journey through breast cancer. After our pedicures we went to Cracker & Co. for lunch. Little did I know that when I walked into the back of the restaurant that I would see a table of friends with pink balloons. There was Vicki Hunt, Loa Owens, Carla Morris, Vicki Lenkersdorfer, Geni Huston, Kim Berrett and Mandi Wilson. This meant everything in the world to me. To have my friends give me love and support during this time of my life. I love each of them to this very day.

July 20, 2006, Doug and I arrived at Banner Baywood hospital at 6:00 am. I had a lumpectomy and 6 sentinel lymph nodes were extracted and the results were benign. I also had a Bard chemo port implanted on the right upper breast area. This port will help me with my chemotherapy and blood draws. I wanted this because I knew I would get tired of being poked and that chemo also makes it more difficult to find good veins to draw blood or for treatment. The procedure went well and I came home with no problems. I thought, "This is a piece of cake, nothing to it."

On August 1, 2006, I had an appointment with Dr Johnson. He told me that the "margins" were not large enough. The margins were clean but he felt they needed to be larger. A re-excision surgery was scheduled to be in 9 days.

August 4, 2006 was my first visit with Dr Bachrach. I came in with a notebook of questions and taking notes. I already knew, before he told me that I was Stage 2A, I am triple negative, ER/PR negative, and HER2 neu negative. All lymph nodes came back negative. I was told that I would have six rounds of chemotherapy, in the third generation regimen, a round of treatment, for me, was every three weeks. I handed him my notebook and asked him to check off the chemo treatment that he recommended for me and he checked the ones that I marked They are, doxorubicin, cyclophosphamide, and Taxotere, the "Three bad boys", as the nurse's called them! He explained how the chemo would affect me. He told me that week one, I would not want to do anything, week two - I would be able to do a little bit more and the third week, I'd be feeling a lot better. I asked Dr Bachrach if I could work during my treatment.  He asked me what kind of work I did and I told him that I'm a floral designer.  All he did was shake his head "no" and that was it.  My understanding as to why I could not work was because of the different molds and spores that come in the flowers.  Since I would be on chemo and my immune system being weakened by the treatment that I would be more susceptible to getting sick.  So no work for me.  Dr Bachrach also wanted me to be tested to see if my type of cancer was genetic, I already knew it was positive for the gene, but he needed medical confirmation. I told him the only way I would have the test was if the test was pre-approved by my insurance, because the test is $4000. To my amazement, my insurance company approved the test.

On August 9, 2006 I was back at Banner Baywood for a re-excision to make sure the margins were clean and clear.

The next day, August 10, 2006, I was scheduled for a MUGA Scan. This scan is required prior to receiving certain chemotherapy treatment. Some chemotherapy can damage your heart, so the MUGA Scan is to determine if your heart is strong enough to withstand the treatment. Even if your heart is healthy, the drugs can still cause damage. The scan was simple, nothing to it. The test results were favorable and the chemo treatment suggested for my regimen will go as planned.

August 16, 2006, I had my blood drawn to be tested for BRCA1 and BRCA2. The next day, August 17, 2006, I had a follow up appointment with Dr Bachrach. We went over more information and any other questions that I might have. I had another exam, kinda getting tired of bearing my breasts every time I see a doctor. I'm beginning to undress before they enter the room because I know the first thing they are going to do is examine me again! I feel numb and all modesty goes out the window. It's like, okay here they are again..take a look!

After all this...Doug and I decided to take a 7 day vacation before I began my chemotherapy. Once I begin, we can't go anywhere and I really needed this trip to take my mind off all the treatments and upcoming surgeries. We went to Utah and visited our good friends Dan and Linda Metcalf. It was nice to be on their farm, to enjoy the beautiful Utah weather, and to get away from the Arizona heat. We also took a day to visit with Doug's cousin RoseAnn Nielsen in Ogden, Utah. It was a relaxing trip and it helped me to get ready to face my upcoming challenges.

We came back from our trip and of course, August 31, 2006, the first thing I have to do is see Dr Richmond. At this point in time we still don't know if I need radiation therapy. He told me the results of my genetic testing. And yes, I am positive on BRCA1 and BRCA2 showing positive with "Uncertain Significance". Now, this puts a whole new light on things. At this moment I know, and no doctor has to tell me, that I must have bilateral mastectomies. The decision is made!

However, Doug is still has the view that a lumpectomy is sufficient. I know he's having a difficult time with all of this, what husband wouldn't? I think it's normal for a man to go through all kinds of emotions during this time and if anyone says different, they are lying! Please don't mistake love and concern for weakness. I know there are some that feel that way, I do not. Walk a mile in a husband's shoes then tell me he's weak when he's watching his wife go through this torment of breast cancer.

If you know someone who's going through this experience, do not forget the partner in their life. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, the whole family has cancer. And what I mean by that is, every one is effected. It touches everyone in the family and everyone copes differently. We should not judge a person's reactions because this is a form of grief or a death, if you will. We cannot tell someone how to grieve. How can we tell someone how to react when their loved one has cancer? Be mindful of those around you and love them through this time of their life. Be supportive not condemning.