Round 4 & Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 8, 2006 (Doug's 54th birthday) I go to the Dr Bachrach's office for my routine blood draw before chemotherapy. The nurse calls me back to do the blood draw. First, she gives me a saline solution to flush the port, but it feels funny. I told her, "This doesn't feel right!" She tries it again. I said, "There's something wrong, it doesn't feel right." The nurse goes and gets another nurse. A third time she tries to flush the port. Again I said, "This doesn't feel right!" She looks at my skin and there's a huge lump because the saline solution is going under my skin and not into the port. So, they had to draw out of my arm instead.

After what had happened with the port, the doctors office sent me to the hospital to have a test to see what was wrong with the port. I went to the radiology department. They had to give me an IV and put a dye into my veins. I went into this room where a machine was taking images of the port. After the test I was told that the port was, "broken" and that the "wires are all twisted up" and "do not use it".

Ok, the port is broken, what can I do about it? Absolutely nothing. How the hospital acted gave me the impression that it wasn't important. So, I called Dr Johnson and told his office about the "broken" port. Since I was on chemo, the window of opportunity to remove and implant a new port is very narrow. The procedure to remove the port and implant a new one was scheduled for Wednesday, November 22, 2006, the day before Thanksgiving.

November 9, 2006 I had round 4 of my chemo regime. Unfortunately, I had to use a vein because my chemo port was broken. I didn't like seeing the IV in my hand. This is the reason I wanted a port, I didn't want to have to do it this way. Yet, I had no options. I had to suck it up and just do it. Actually, my chemotherapy hasn't been too bad. I have had very little nausea and no vomiting. That's a good thing. Up to this point I've only had two instances that I did feel nauseous but I meditated my way through it. The first occasion, was when Doug was warming up his dinner. The smell hit me like a brick wall. I ran to the bedroom and shut the door. I laid on the bed and just meditated. The other time I was laying on the couch. I was home alone and all of a sudden I felt "ick". Once again, I laid there and closed my eyes. That's all I had to do. This truly was a blessing, no vomiting! On my way home, from chemo, I usually went to Ned's Crazy Sub for a sub sandwich. Ned's became my sub of choice and helped me to survive through my treatments! Thanks Ned's!

Here it is the day before Thanksgiving. I begin preparation for Thanksgiving dinner. I wash the turkey, salt and pepper it, and place it in a baking bag then put it in the refrigerator. It should be okay, especially since I didn't stuff it. I peeled potatoes and put them in salt water in pan, one less thing to do Thanksgiving morning. When I come home later today, I'll be on schedule in my preparation for Thanksgiving. It will be very intimate, just me, Doug and my Dad for Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006, Doug and I arrive at the hospital at 1:30 in the afternoon for an outpatient procedure. This is supposed to be a simple procedure, remove the broken port and implant a new one. After the surgery, I see Doug's face, sick with worry, and the Dr Hamberg, the anesthesiologist stroking my arm with just as much of a worried look as Doug. Now, keep in mind, I just came out of surgery. I'm still drugged up, not really absorbing everything. Dr Johnson comes and tells me that during the procedure he cannot locate part of the Bard chemo port and that I need a CT Scan to see where it might be located. I'm telling Doug to calm down, because he's upset with worry, again I don't realize the severity of the situation.

I'm taken to do the CT Scan. I remember them telling me, "Breathe in, hold your breath, breathe", several times. The results of the test shows that the part is in my heart. This is a rare incident. It has been known to happen but very rarely. Well, I was the lucky one! Typically when the port breaks it goes one of two places; in your lungs or in your heart. The part went into my heart. I'm immediately admitted to the hospital and taken to a room. Still under the effects of anesthesia, I call LaDonna, my sister. Now keep in mind, LaDonna is out of town, in Tucson, for the Thanksgiving holiday. I tell her what's going on, like it's nothing! My advise to anyone, don't make phone calls when you come out of surgery.

Thanksgiving morning I'm in the hospital. I'm served a nice breakfast and told to stay in bed and not move around. I see a commode by the bed and I tell the nurse that I'm not going to use it when the bathroom is literally 10 steps from the commode. The nurse said that was the doctor's orders to use the commode because he didn't want me to exert too much energy or to get stressed due to the wires being in my heart. Don't they realize that using the commode would cause me more stress than using the toilet.

Dr Johnson came in to see me before the retrieval. I could see the concern on his face. He asked me, "When you had the test on your chemo port, didn't they tell you it was in your heart?" "No, they just told me it was broken and not to use it", was my reply. He shook his head and left. I can still see the look on his face! He wasn't very happy.

A young man took me to radiology for the procedure to have the part removed, and I was asked a few questions. One of the questions was, "When was the last time you ate?" Of course, I ate breakfast and evidently that became a problem because I wanted to be sedated. You know, I want to "see nothing", "hear nothing", and "feel nothing". Well, since I ate that wasn't possible so I began to cry and pray. Boy, did I pray!!! Now I'm frustrated. They knew I was having this procedure...why did they bring me breakfast? That's what I want to know! A little time later, they came back and told me they needed a special device to do the procedure and they had to go to another hospital to get it. Thank goodness, my prayers were answered. I was taken back to my room. I kept praying they would take a long time getting what they needed. Several hours later the young man came and took me back to radiology. They asked the doctor if I could have the sedation that I requested earlier and he said, "She can have whatever she wants!" The procedure to retrieve the part was to go through my femoral vein and pluck the wire from my heart and pull it out. All I remember is them showing me some blue wires in my hazy view.

After the procedure I was taken back to my room. The instructions were, that I had to remain still for the next 4 hours. That was a long 4 hours. I remember watching the clock and about 3 hours into my 4 hours of laying there, all I could think was, "I have to pee!" But there was no way I was going to use a bed pan. So, I just laid there and watched the clock. It was one of the longest hours of my life. About 5 minutes before my time was up, I called the nurse because I knew it might take that long for her to come. When she came in I told her, "My time is up and that I have to pee"." I also told her that she had to help me get up, because after laying there as still as can be, I was as stiff as a board and I could hardly move.

I was discharged about 5:00 pm, November 23rd, Thanksgiving Day. Thank heavens for the Washburn Family. Doug and I walked to the Washburn's house and we invited ourselves for dinner. They were so kind and gracious. I appreciate their friendship very much. They made Thanksgiving complete! This is a Thanksgiving I will never forget!

Friday, November 24th I cooked our Thanksgiving dinner.

Round 3

Thursday, October 19, 2006, 9:30 am, Round 3.  Blood drawn yesterday and everything is still looking good. We can move on to another round of chemo.

I love my chemo port! It's so much easier than having to use the veins in your arm, especially since my right arm is the only arm they can use. I had my lumpectomy and sentinel lymph nodes taken on my left side. Due to the removal of the lymph nodes, the left side is off limits to IV's, blood draws, and no blood pressure can be taken on that arm. When you have lymph nodes removed you are at high risk for lymphedema swelling of the effected area. In my case, it would be my left arm.

The nurse proceeded to start my chemo IV, everything went well. No problems and it took the usual 3 hours. At the end of my treatment, the nurse gives me heparin in the port to prevent blood clots. When she pushed it into the port I felt this bubbling gurgling sound go up the right side of my neck. I told her about it. She checked me for any leakage and asked me if I felt any of the chemicals on my skin. If the chemicals got on my skin, that would mean I would possibly have to have plastic surgery to repair any damage that the chemo drugs may have caused. However, it was a relief that no problems occurred. She did no further exam and she told me that every thing was alright. I went home, had my lunch and like clock work the Mack truck arrived!

Doctors and Tests

Now comes the time when I'll be seeing doctors that I thought I'd NEVER see. Radiation Oncologist, Medical Oncologist, and Plastic Surgeon. This isn't something that I ever thought I'd be doing in a million years, but I am!

June 29, 2006, is my first appointment with Dr Richmond, Radiation Oncologist. He was very nice and informative. The only thing I didn't like was that if I had radiation, my chances of breast reconstruction were decreased. At that time I was bound and determined not to do radiation, if at all possible.

July 5, 2006 I had a PET Scan. I had no idea what a PET Scan was. I was injected with a glucose dye. After being injected I had to wait about a hour to make sure the dye was throughout my system. It was my turn and I was escorted to a mobile PET Scan trailer at Banner Baywood Medical Center. I was told to remove any clothing that had any metal on it and put on a gown. I enter another part of the trailer and I see this big machine, that is similar to a CT Scan machine and was told to lay down on the table. I had two options, have my arms strapped down by my side or have them above my head. There was no way I was going to be strapped down. I can get claustrophobic and being strapped down would have made me feel more confined than I already was. I closed my eyes throughout the test to keep me calm and from getting that anxious feeling. The test took about 45 minutes to an hour, which is a long time when you don't like confined spaces. The purpose of the test is to show where the cancer is located and if it has metastasized. The results of my PET Scan showed the cancer in only one spot, in my left breast. This is good news!

July 14, 2006 I went to Banner Baywood for Outpatient Pre-Op. Getting ready for my lumpectomy.

I knew that soon after my surgery, chemotherapy would be here and the thought of going bald was on my mind. I know that cancer is a scary thing, I know that for a fact. I've watched how my family has been affected by cancer and now I'm going through it myself. Sometimes it's difficult for some people to talk, let alone look at someone with cancer. They don't know what to say or what to do and it puts up walls between people. Well, I didn't want that to happen to me. I want people to ask how I am, I want them to have "normal" conversations with me. I don't want them shying away from me because I was diagnosed with cancer.

So, on Sunday, July 16, 2006, I decided to do something to involve the Sisters in my Ward in one of my major decisions. I had a survey made with different pictures of wigs for the Sisters in Relief Society to choose for me. Boy, did that break the ice. They loved it, and I loved it too! They became a part of my cancer experience and I love each of them for supporting me.

July 18,2006, my dear friend Nancy Garrett and I had pedicures. She treated me knowing in two days I was having my lumpectomy and beginning my journey through breast cancer. After our pedicures we went to Cracker & Co. for lunch. Little did I know that when I walked into the back of the restaurant that I would see a table of friends with pink balloons. There was Vicki Hunt, Loa Owens, Carla Morris, Vicki Lenkersdorfer, Geni Huston, Kim Berrett and Mandi Wilson. This meant everything in the world to me. To have my friends give me love and support during this time of my life. I love each of them to this very day.

July 20, 2006, Doug and I arrived at Banner Baywood hospital at 6:00 am. I had a lumpectomy and 6 sentinel lymph nodes were extracted and the results were benign. I also had a Bard chemo port implanted on the right upper breast area. This port will help me with my chemotherapy and blood draws. I wanted this because I knew I would get tired of being poked and that chemo also makes it more difficult to find good veins to draw blood or for treatment. The procedure went well and I came home with no problems. I thought, "This is a piece of cake, nothing to it."

On August 1, 2006, I had an appointment with Dr Johnson. He told me that the "margins" were not large enough. The margins were clean but he felt they needed to be larger. A re-excision surgery was scheduled to be in 9 days.

August 4, 2006 was my first visit with Dr Bachrach. I came in with a notebook of questions and taking notes. I already knew, before he told me that I was Stage 2A, I am triple negative, ER/PR negative, and HER2 neu negative. All lymph nodes came back negative. I was told that I would have six rounds of chemotherapy, in the third generation regimen, a round of treatment, for me, was every three weeks. I handed him my notebook and asked him to check off the chemo treatment that he recommended for me and he checked the ones that I marked They are, doxorubicin, cyclophosphamide, and Taxotere, the "Three bad boys", as the nurse's called them! He explained how the chemo would affect me. He told me that week one, I would not want to do anything, week two - I would be able to do a little bit more and the third week, I'd be feeling a lot better. I asked Dr Bachrach if I could work during my treatment.  He asked me what kind of work I did and I told him that I'm a floral designer.  All he did was shake his head "no" and that was it.  My understanding as to why I could not work was because of the different molds and spores that come in the flowers.  Since I would be on chemo and my immune system being weakened by the treatment that I would be more susceptible to getting sick.  So no work for me.  Dr Bachrach also wanted me to be tested to see if my type of cancer was genetic, I already knew it was positive for the gene, but he needed medical confirmation. I told him the only way I would have the test was if the test was pre-approved by my insurance, because the test is $4000. To my amazement, my insurance company approved the test.

On August 9, 2006 I was back at Banner Baywood for a re-excision to make sure the margins were clean and clear.

The next day, August 10, 2006, I was scheduled for a MUGA Scan. This scan is required prior to receiving certain chemotherapy treatment. Some chemotherapy can damage your heart, so the MUGA Scan is to determine if your heart is strong enough to withstand the treatment. Even if your heart is healthy, the drugs can still cause damage. The scan was simple, nothing to it. The test results were favorable and the chemo treatment suggested for my regimen will go as planned.

August 16, 2006, I had my blood drawn to be tested for BRCA1 and BRCA2. The next day, August 17, 2006, I had a follow up appointment with Dr Bachrach. We went over more information and any other questions that I might have. I had another exam, kinda getting tired of bearing my breasts every time I see a doctor. I'm beginning to undress before they enter the room because I know the first thing they are going to do is examine me again! I feel numb and all modesty goes out the window. It's like, okay here they are again..take a look!

After all this...Doug and I decided to take a 7 day vacation before I began my chemotherapy. Once I begin, we can't go anywhere and I really needed this trip to take my mind off all the treatments and upcoming surgeries. We went to Utah and visited our good friends Dan and Linda Metcalf. It was nice to be on their farm, to enjoy the beautiful Utah weather, and to get away from the Arizona heat. We also took a day to visit with Doug's cousin RoseAnn Nielsen in Ogden, Utah. It was a relaxing trip and it helped me to get ready to face my upcoming challenges.

We came back from our trip and of course, August 31, 2006, the first thing I have to do is see Dr Richmond. At this point in time we still don't know if I need radiation therapy. He told me the results of my genetic testing. And yes, I am positive on BRCA1 and BRCA2 showing positive with "Uncertain Significance". Now, this puts a whole new light on things. At this moment I know, and no doctor has to tell me, that I must have bilateral mastectomies. The decision is made!

However, Doug is still has the view that a lumpectomy is sufficient. I know he's having a difficult time with all of this, what husband wouldn't? I think it's normal for a man to go through all kinds of emotions during this time and if anyone says different, they are lying! Please don't mistake love and concern for weakness. I know there are some that feel that way, I do not. Walk a mile in a husband's shoes then tell me he's weak when he's watching his wife go through this torment of breast cancer.

If you know someone who's going through this experience, do not forget the partner in their life. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, the whole family has cancer. And what I mean by that is, every one is effected. It touches everyone in the family and everyone copes differently. We should not judge a person's reactions because this is a form of grief or a death, if you will. We cannot tell someone how to grieve. How can we tell someone how to react when their loved one has cancer? Be mindful of those around you and love them through this time of their life. Be supportive not condemning.