Bilateral Mastectomies

March 1, 2007, 9:15 am appointment with Dr Bachrach. He's pleased that the treatment has been favorable. At this time I need blood work every three months to check my CA125, which has to do with ovarian cancer. You probably are asking yourself, "Why does she need that test when she has no ovaries?" And you know what, that's a good question, because I didn't know the reason either.

Dr Bachrach asked me, "Do you know Glida Radner?" "Yes", I said, "She died of ovarian cancer". "No, she didn't", was his reply. I was stumped as that is what the media announced when she died. Dr Bachrach proceeded to tell me that she died of paratneium (not sure if I spelled it correctly) cancer. This tissue is in the abdomen and is attached to many organs, one of which is the ovaries. So, sometimes when people are diagnosed with ovarian cancer it's actually paratneium cancer instead. The CA125 is the cancer marker for both ovarian and parathneium cancer, thus the reason I have this test every three months.

March 7,2007, today is the day I will have my bilateral mastectomies. I'm at peace with the decision. I have no worries, no concerns. I know it is the right decision and Dr Johnson has always taken the best care of me. I arrive at the hospital at 7:30 am. I check in and wait for the volunteer to call my name to take me to Pre-Op. I believe we only waited about 10 minutes when my name was called along with 2 other patients. I was weighted. They took my temperature and checked my blood sugars. The nurse had a hard time getting my IV, she tried 4 times, then another nurse tried a few more times. After that many tries I was beginning to feel funny and I told them that I was starting to feel light headed. BOOM! Down went the bed. It was that fast, I was flat. Evidently, that was a sign that I was beginning to pass out. After all those sticks trying to get the IV started they finally called another nurse to bring an ultra sound machine to find a vein. This was something totally new to me. One nurse had to locate a vein, then hold the ultra sound device on my arm while another nurse took the needle while watching the monitor to get the IV needle in. The needle was put in the oddest spot, on the backside of my forearm. But it worked! After all that drama with the IV, I decided we needed some laughter, so I asked the nurse to mark my breasts with a Smiley Face for the doctor, gotta have a sense of humor!

The surgery went well, both Doug and, my dearest friend, Robin were there with me. No other family was there to support me, kind of disappointing that I didn't even have my sister there with me. I think people do better when they have their loved ones around them, but I guess she thought differently. She even told me that she didn't understand why Doug needed someone with him while I was in surgery. She even made snide remarks, why I don't know. Maybe she just dislikes Doug so much that she cannot have any compassion for him at all. She gives me the impression that it's a sign of weakness to need support when a loved one in surgery. Where she gets that from, I have no idea.

I remember being in my room, Doug and Robin were watching a video. It was comforting to have them with me. As the evening began to set in, I felt good and decided I wanted to go home. I called the nurse and asked her to contact the doctor to make arrangements for me to go home. I surprised myself, I didn't have to stay in the hospital over night after all.

I came home with two lovely hand grenades, drains to those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, hanging from under where my breasts used to be. These appendages had to be drained and fluid measured several times throughout the day. They were kind of annoying, yet I knew they had a purpose.

I thought the hardest part would be seeing myself in the mirror for the first time with no breasts and totally flat chested. I was actually surprised at how I felt. Of course, I did look physically different, but I was at peace. I was at peace with the decision because I knew it was the right thing to do. The hardest part was that I could not take a shower while I had these drains. For 1 week I had to take bird bathes, sponge bathes to most of you. You know, you do what you have to do. That's all I could do. It was part of the process.

March 14, 2007, Time to take the drains out. Let me tell you, I was a nervous wreck when he was getting ready to remove the drains and I'll tell you why. In 1993, I had gall bladder surgery and I had a drain then too. Well, when the surgeon came in to remove the drain I started to ask him, "Please let me know when you're going to remove...", before I could finish my sentence he pulled the drain from my body. I felt like I had been punched and the wind knocked out of me. All I wanted to ask him was, "Please let me know when you're going to remove the drain, so I can take a deep breath and relax while you do it." He didn't give me the courtesy to finish speaking with him before he so rudely yanked the drain out. So, I took this moment with Dr Johnson and I explained my concerns to him. He was so understanding and removed the drains with care. What a relief to get rid of those things! The following week, March 21,2007 I saw Dr Johnson again. I had some fluid in my chest cavity that needed to be drained. He used a needle to aspirate the fluid from my chest. I was very nervous, to say the least. I don't particularly like needles and to have one going into the chest to remove fluid wasn't my idea of fun. To my amazement it didn't hurt. I had some numbness caused by the incision, which is normal, so the procedure was virtually pain free. I had two more visits to aspirate fluid and April 16, 2007 was my last visit with Dr Johnson.