BRCA1 and BRCA2

Earlier I mentioned my cancer is genetic. I'm positive for BRCA1 and BRCA2 was shown to have "Uncertain Significance". As a result of my cancer being genetic, my sister was given the opportunity to be tested for BRCA1. She had the test and is also positive for the gene. Since LaDonna tested positive for the gene, she was able to do prophylactic bilateral mastectomies and reconstruction minus the chemotherapy.

In a way, cancer has been a blessing. Calling cancer a blessing is an odd way of putting it, but it was a blessing. Breast cancer has affected many lives in my family and later in my blog I'll share my family history. But back to cancer being a blessing. When you have a family history of breast cancer, there is a high probability that it may be genetic, however this is not true in all cases. When a family that is high risk, generally the one diagnosed with cancer is tested for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene. There are some instances when the test is given if there is no living family member that was diagnosed with breast cancer. In my instance, I was diagnosed at a fairly early stage, Stage 2A, and because I had tested positive for the gene, my sister was able to be tested and given the opportunity to be proactive in her own life.

Although my sister was never at any of my procedures, I felt that I should support her. I did not tell her that I was going to be at the hospital while she had her mastectomies, because I didn't want to make a big deal of it. On July 5, 2007 my sister was scheduled to be at Desert Samaritan Hospital at 9:00 am and the surgery was at 11:00 am. I arrived a little after 9:00 am and my sister wasn't there. For a minute I thought maybe, I was late, had the wrong date or wrong time. But I sat there waiting patiently. About 10 minutes later, LaDonna and her husband, Keith, walk in. My sister begins to cry when she sees me, and we embrace. I know this is a hard time for her and that was the reason I came. We visited for a while until the nurse came to get her. The nurse invited me to go back into Pre-Op, but I said, "They need to be alone, I'll stay here". I waited for Keith to come out so I could keep him company while my sister had her surgery.

About 45 minutes later, Keith comes out of the Pre-Op room and says to me, "LaDonna doesn't want you here!" I was dumbfounded. It was basically a slap in the face and undeserved. I said to him, "I'm staying until I know she's okay and out of surgery, then I'll leave". "I won't see her while she's in the hospital." So, I stayed until the surgery was over. When the doctor came out and reported that my sister was doing good, that's when I left. This kind of behavior proved to me that, "No good deed goes unpunished!"

I came to support LaDonna and Keith. Now keep in mind, my husband needed someone with him when I had my procedures. Robin, Sabrina, or Mary would sit with Doug while I was in the operating room, to help him, because it is scary waiting. LaDonna didn't think Doug needed anyone to be with him. As a matter of fact, we had a conversation regarding Doug needing someone with him. She made snide remarks and made belittling innuendos about him. I can still hear the tone of her voice. It was very hurtful and it confirmed to me that she really doesn't like or care for Doug. To LaDonna it's a sign of weakness or being less of a man to need someone. During our conversation she said, "Keith doesn't need anyone to be with him". This meant that Keith was more of a man because if his wife ever needed surgery, he didn't need anyone to be with him.

I believe that no one can tell someone else how to react, especially when they have a loved one that is going through a life threatening illness. It's insensitive to force your beliefs or feelings on someone else. Not everyone reacts the same. Some need the comfort of family and friends, while others chose to be alone. Both are right, no one is wrong!